Queen of Sheba Inspects Solomon
Today in the Daily Bible, we have the Queen of Sheba visiting Solomon to assess his rod. The Queen of Sheba thinks a lot of herself and is amazed by Solomon’s “wisdom.” I’m fairly certain they ended up fucking.
Temples, Palaces, and Towns
We start off with it taking 13 years to build Solomon’s palace. I can imagine this makes God jealous because the palace took 6 more years to build than the temple. God makes a covenant with Solomon, which means…you know, God fucked Solomon. Solomon gives Hiram, the guy he got that good wood from, a bunch of old dilapidated towns. Hiram returns those shitty ass towns as though he got it at Walmart. Solomon then makes lemonade out of lemons by spicing up the towns and fortifying them. You know, for not war fighting reasons.
Enslavement of Foreigners
Next, Solomon then takes a bunch of foreigners and enslaves them. They become property of the state and are forced to perform labor for Solomon. Solomon uses these slaves to build up his empire. Anyone that claims that slavery doesn’t exist in the bible is either lying or is so woefully indoctrinated that they are blind to just reading the material.
Queen of Sheba Visits
Now the Queen of Sheba hears about the wonders of Solomon. She also hears about a stranger rumour that he’s gay. The Queen proceeds to pay solomon a devils amount, 666 talons, of gold to ride that rod and turn him back from the gay side.
The Queen of Sheba is successful in her quest and returns home.
Christian, get the fuck out of my foxhole. Pleading to your invisible friend is not working, just get out!