No God Doesn’t

What’s up Heathens! Today we are covering more in the Daily Bible. We start off today with God giving the Jews a really hard time because they challenge Moses and Aaron’s leadership. One thing leads to another and Aaron’s rod grows nuts. It’s Crazy.

Corey, Abercrombie, and Fitch have problems with Moses and his brother Aaron. They stand up against them calling BS on this whole situation, being that they wouldn’t get any more milk and honey. They threw themselves down on the ground like they are fucking children. They go down ass up face down.

Now the Levites are wanting to be the priests. God only wants Aaron and his sons to be the priests. He will fucking kill anyone who doesn’t obey him. So Corey, Abercrombie, and Fitch assemble at the tent of the lord. God tells Aaron and his kids to back the fuck away so he can kill everyone. Moses and Aaron fall ass up face down and begs got not to kill everyone. So a sarlacc pit opens beneath the 3 men’s families and swallowed them whole. Then fire consumed the 250 people that were standing with them.

Then Moses and Aaron have to make a cover for the giant death whole and only Aaron can offer incense to the Lord. Everyone else will have fire shoved up their ass. The Lord then kills 15,000 people with the plague. He stopped because Aaron offered incense. I don’t know why that was a key to stopping a plague. Then they chose staffs for who should be the leader. God commands them to write their names on their rods and put them in the ground. Aaron’s is the only one that grows shit and nuts.