Plagues On The Egyptians [ Daily Bible Podcast ]
Moses Is A Plague
Today we have Moses causing the Plagues on the Egyptians. We are covering Exodus 5-8 and it's only half of the plagues. Basically, Moses turns his one-eyed trouser snake into a rod and back again. I think...
So we have Moses coming to Pharoah, which God has already hardened his heart btw, and asking him for a 3-day vacation in the desert. Pharoah doesn't like this idea so he tells them to fuck off. God is pissed because Pharoah does what God hardened his heart to do so he decides to turn the waters red with blood. Apparently, the water was so putrid people couldn't drink it... I would think the immense amount of fucking blood would do the trick.
Pharoah is still hardened so God sends another plague... frogs. Frogs swarmed the land. I guess they were signs that the Alt-Right Moses group wasn't going anywhere. The army of Pepe's would have done the trick.
Pharoah is unphased. So God Sends Lice. Pharoah is still not taking the bait. So he gives them flies like they are at a massive outdoor bar-b-que. Then God kills the livestock because fuck those animals. Then he sends boils. Pharoah's heart is still hardened.