Abraham Circumcises Himself
So today we have a lot to talk about. First up is how hypocritical Sarai is with Hagar. First, she gives Hagar to Abram as a consolation prize because she's barren as fuck and God is slower than a fat guy on a scooter. So Abram conceives a child with Hagar and that pisses Sarai because she's a confused bitch.
Next God chooses Abraham to be his special chosen people. The grand prize for that is circumcision, cutting part of your dick off. I know the prize sucks. Abraham circumcises himself and then everyone that is in his household has to be circumcised by Abraham.
So from Sarai and Hagar to Abraham circumcising himself, today is a weird one and a major struggle for me to not make dick jokes.