Christians Cancel Each Other Out At Inauguration
For Donald Trump's inauguration, many Christians will be marching around the Capital like Joshua did in the bible when he was conquering Jericho for God. In the story of Joshua, God told him to march around Jericho carrying the Ark of the Covenant for seven days. This seven-day march culminated in a giant shout yelling at the wall to make it crack so they could rush in to slaughter the townspeople (because God is all loving unless you don't believe in him).
So, in an effort to help their fearless leader, one Christian group is going to march around the capital starting on 13 Jan 2017 and won't stop marching until Inauguration Day. Here is what they have planned for that day:
As President Trump finishes his oath of office, at the moment of the power transition, all intercessors are instructed to shout to the Lord with faith and expectation that the spiritual walls will be destroyed at that moment.
(via Friendly Atheist)
They are going to yell simultaneously when he is sworn into office thus completing the ritual of making them look ridiculous. All this in an effort to tear down spiritual walls.
Prayer Sheilds Activated Captain
At the same time that the the Jericho group is working hard to tear down any spiritual walls against Donald Trump, there is another group building a "shield" to protect him.
Like angels from heaven, hundreds of "prayer warriors" have descended on Washington D.C. to undertake a crucial mission: protect U.S. President-elect Donald Trump by building a "prayer shield" around him ahead of his Jan. 20 inauguration.
Among these prayer warriors are the members of a new group called POTUS Shield (as in President of the United States) who gathered inside the National Press Club on Thursday, CBN News reported.
First of all, protect him from what exactly? Himself? Honestly, the man's worst enemy is himself with his weapon being his Twitter account. Second, as we have seen recently prayer doesn't work at all. Prayer just makes the person praying feel better by deluding themselves into thinking some great magician is going to listen and make things go their way. That is all it does. In reality, both of these groups will be doing nothing but praying to a god they hope exists and yelling like crazy people that can't understand how to adult.
While these Christians are building a "spiritual shield" for Trump, the other group will shatter it with their incessant yelling they do when Trump is sworn in. Effectively, in their own special place outside of reality, Christians will both be building a wall to protect Trump and destroying all walls, including the one just built, to protect Trump. They are also hoping to build a real wall to keep the Mexicans out while hoping that we can make them reimburse us for the cost of that wall.
2017, the Year of Walls.