atheist,atheism,godless,engineer,deconversion,christianity

Godless Engineer's return to Atheism

I titled this post as such because we are all born atheists and then we are indoctrinated into a faith.

Raised Catholic

I was raised in a catholic household. I went to catholic private school from Kindergarten till 4th grade. I left catholic school because I got tired of the assholes in it. Even in the 4th grade, they were assholes. Once I left Catholic private school, we remained technically catholic for a while. We eventually quit even considering ourselves catholic.

For the longest time we remained christian but we didn't go to church or anything. I was actually the first one to start going to another denomination of christianity. This was because in order to make friends I had to be in some kind of church. That is how people network in my area of Alabama. I bounced around baptist and so called Non-Denominational churches, which were really just baptist churches thinking that they were non-denominational.

Gradually Leaving Faith

After a while, I stopped going to church all together. I still had massive amounts of grief due to my early indoctrination. Mainly about my sexuality and feeling like I deserved bad stuff to happen to me because I said "fuck" that day. I would routinely feel massive guilt for having porn and would end up deleting it all just to try and find it again.

I remained a theist for the longest time without actually going to church. I would occasionally pray to god for help and for strength to do something, because that is what I had been taught. I would occasionally try to get back into Christianity by going to church with friends, but my heart just wasn't in it anymore.

The Nose Dive

I was a theist when I met my wife, but that is when my theism took a nose dive. It wasn't just because of my wife though. While she wasn't raised religious, she wasn't the catalyst that got me doubting "god." The main reason I left was my friend Carl. I'm a pretty logical man and it doesn't take much for me to change my opinion. Usually just sound logic, reason, or evidence will get me to accept a new position as my own. Carl is a severe Conservative Christian and he told me that:

If you don't accept the bible as the inerrant word of God then you're not a Christian.

I now know this is a No True Scotsman fallacy, but at the time it worked and I'm grateful for it. Now he told me this in hopes that I would accept the bible as the inerrant word of "god," but I just couldn't do that. Even in Catholic school I was able to pick out bullshit in the bible. I was able to gather the good morals from the stories in the bible, because it's hard to deny the fact that they are in there. Those morals existed way before the bible was written so it's no surprise that it's in there. And that is when the nose dive happened.

Admitting I wasn't a Christian

At this point I had to admit that I wasn't a Christian anymore. I didn't believe in the bible so I had to find my own answers to stuff. I found solace in science, logic, and reason. I didn't take it lightly either. I wanted to know everything I could learn about our reality and I'm still on my way.

Created: 2014-04-23 09:44:53